Charlie Sheen, Joan Rivers, Reality vs Entertainment

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My mom died two years ago and I pulled what I will from now on refer to as a Charlie Sheen or Joan Rivers. Reality went away and I went into lalaland.

Like the episode when Joan takes the photo of Melissa in the shower because she is just doing what she does best, pushing the envelope and being an entertainer. Then, Melissa, her daughter, who is mentally based in reality and not entertainment gets upset, verbally bitch-slaps Joan, and basically puts the breaks on their relationship until Joan comes to her senses and apologizes.

Now we have Charlie Sheen, who is frankly saying things I say (just not out-loud in front of a large audience)... "I am tired of pretending I don't rock" or however he phrased it... who needs humble (BAH!), "I am an entertainer, I am putting on a show for you, I am bored and entertaining you and myself... These are my goddesses... I am a warlock" etc. Not exact quotes but that's my interpretation of the gist of it. He is being a modern day Auntie Mame in my opinion.  SO to people who don't understand this, he has lost his mind. To me, he's is just sick of reality and being playful and fun and dramatic and over-the-top. That's better than taking drugs... and far more entertaining for everybody.

I don't know all the details. I am not going to follow that story too closely. There are children being taken away or something. I don't stop and stare at train wrecks (in general I try to give only positive feedback to things I like, and ignore the things I don't - so as not to encourage that horrifying squeaky wheel gets the grease - the loudest complainer gets the most attention - thing. yuck. who needs a planet full of complainers. just say what you gotta' say diplomatically and work it out... but i digress) so I only know what I am typing. I just wanted to comment on what I saw and what it made me think of.

After my mom died my sister would always look at me when I said things and ask, "Who are you?". I dunno'. I am thespian, I am anything at any time. I flip into modes. I am Kim Kardashian one moment ( sorry :-) ) and Joan Rivers the next. I am the perfect, conservative preppy mom at my kids school and a rock n' roller at professional events. I look completely drunk when I wear high heels because it throws off my balance and I just don't care... I go with it.

I think one of the privileges of being a thespian, artistic human, and especially a woman who has hair and dress "costume changes" at her fingertips is we can be anything we want.

XX Adieu
  Cor, gawwwd, where's the spell check?

Chelsea Handler, Dolly Parton and my Food Addiction in my French Regency McMans.

Sitting in my soon to be French Regency styled McMans trying to figure out how to redecorate without having to go through the torture of redecorating. It's like shopping for me... TORTURE! I never get what I want because I am nice and want to make it work for both hubby and I and I tend to dress and want to be around a movie set. I want to live on the Louis XIV set or in the King's Speech and my husband would be sooo disgusted if I fully redecorated that way. I can't help it! I grew up on the stage! SO we are a skit-so mix of French Regency (me) meets  Wall Street contemporary (him).

Ahem, back to taking off the last 35billion lbs. I am a whopping 142lbs and my goal and what is good for my height and health would be 110lb. I haven't been 110lbs since I was maybe 14 yrs old but my mother was 110lbs when she got married and she is 2 inches taller than me so it's fine, trust me.
Why do I want the 110lbs? I am high risk for breast cancer and to be underweight is to have less fat which carries estrogen which makes the good and the bad happen. Being slightly underweight needs to be maintained by a highly nutritive calorie restricted diet, both of which have been shown to be great for life extension.

Why have I weighed 142lbs for about a decade despite continuing to be on some form of diet and exercise at all times? I am a food addict. I dream about eating, when I am not eating I think about it. I hate it. I love it. It makes me out of control. I have it totally under control and am not tempted at all. I love steamed vegetables. I hate steamed vegetables and want something more. Bethenny Frankel is my god. No, now it's Dr. Fuhrman. Now it's those Skinny Bitch girls. No wait it's... all the food noise in my head makes me so crazy that I also spend most of my day wanting a drink. I can't drink. There's just no time for me to be drunk. I have things to do and places to drive my kids and I don't mess with alcohol unless I have like 10 hrs to spare. Sooo that does not come up too often.

I went to the gym 2 days ago and did this hard core dumbbell thing like the good old days. I was gonna' prevent osteoporosis! Whoo! Great posture, looked hot in the mirror, felt great, took a fitness class after and worked out, I was graceful like they say about me, a dancer, a swan, a hottie, perfect form, strong moves, great stance, just perfect... I was going to go every single day because it made me feel so good.  Now I can't walk or move I am so sore... expected but annoying.  Am so sore everything sucks and there is no way I am taking medicine (Advil) for a workout. I am a healthy girl (except for the neurotic stuff in my head,  clearly) who doesn't mess with med's unless she has to.  So because of the pain I just ate everything in the house. There isn't much that is unhealthy but when one is counting 1100-1600 calories a day and just inhales that much within an hour... ugh.

Still 142lbs! Every Monday I start over and have it all under control by Friday and tell myself I will not mess up on the weekend and then I do. Rinse. Repeat adnauseum. I tell myself I am in good company because Chelsea Handler and Dolly Parton do this cycle too! But then I realize they don't have 30lbs to lose.
I have to get a better plan. Back to the food journal notebook. There is a Gala thing next week and have just ordered the dress. I will fit into it. I will fit into it. I will fit into it.

No long goodbyes... thank you for reading! Adieu! XO

Mel Brooks on Facebook!!!

Cick here to see who I discovered on Facebook!

1. I think there should be a Mel Brooks Facebook App for people who need the perfect smart/funny/honest line in a situation. I suspect it would save me from inserting my foot in my mouth several times a day.

2. Just accidentally discovered that if you drink coffee through a straw to not muss your lipstick before a meeting and there is a micro-hole in it, you will in fact be drinking something that tastes like coffee and Perrier.

If I were-a-twittering these would be my tweets people. Scintillating #BienSur

The GRAMMY'S! I went! Yay!

Can't tell you how excited I am to have done alll of this! Dieting is no longer an issues. Am completely inspired to stay on my protein/veggies, small portions diet.

Am beyond excited to acquire all my goals... am getting on it! Yay! Really, that's all it took. I went somewhere and hob-nobbed in my minidress and high heels and I felt I was charming and reminded me of the me I used to be. XO

I will post again the next time I fall into that depression state... seriously I only post or have ever written in my diary when I needed to get it out. When I am happy I take photo's of it and all the smiles.

Anyone else do that?

http://pinkaliciousintentions.blogspot.com - out (drops microphone loudly on the floor, smiles seductively, and exits stage left) #TurnDownForWhat

What Does A Real Housewife Do All Day? ( Million Dollar Listing? )

I wanted to blog this to remind myself of this stage in my life. I have been Googling to find out what affluent housewives do all day and is there no one out there like me? 

Our youngest is now in Kindergarten and I have 4 hours to myself a day. I have been filling it with business on the computer, organizing things in the house (because really who thinks straight when the kids are home and potentially needy at any moment) and entertaining the idea of working out more than I do and getting that perfect bod.

Our weekends are extravagant, indulgent, exhausting, social, engaging, fulfilling and fun but here is what I do all day from Mon-Fri:
Wake up at 5:30-ish am. Sip my coffee and watch "The New Adventures of Old Christine" on DVR or "Will and Grace" if it's on or the news. Husband is getting ready for his day or at the computer so we chat and hug (no that's not code for anything else... and if it was I wouldn't tell you... because a lady doesn't tell... and I can pretend to be a lady with the best of 'em) and talk about our day plans and then I shower and get ready for my day. I wake the kids at 6:50. Then it's a whirlwind of showers, breakfast, making lunch and out the door by 7:30 to drop them off.
8:30 I get home if I haven't popped over to Target or a health food store for groceries. Computer, Facebook (ugh - it's a love-hate thing), Googling things that need answers, the housekeeper does most of the housework and especially that involving chemicals, maybe have Kathy and Hoda on doing a job I would rock, food journal and try to stay under 1600 calories, etc etc and bored by 11am and still don't have to leave the house until 12something.

Then when I pick up the kids it's all about coaching the kids through life, teaching, mommying, helping, dinner making with kids, homework, lessons, activities, hubby gets home, and get the kids to bed. Now I have 1.5 hrs until I pass out at 11pm to fill.

I am soooooo bored. The monotony of it all is devastating. It's all so Stepford perfect. Perfect hubby, perfect straight A, generous, kind, sporty kids, perfect life and I AM so grateful but I need a sense of accomplishment in something I do alone and I need to socialize. I need a job I think... especially next year when the baby is in school all day. I need to get out there and meet other people and socialize but don't know where to start. I need to contribute in way that feels meaningful and bold to me and in something that I get to put a suit or structured sheath dress on and feel pretty doing every day. I can't wait until I figure this puzzle out. The isolation is killing me and Facebook is not reality. My family and extended family apparently need to see me to feel close to me and they're 2500 miles away. I need to get a public hobby. I guess I could start where I always go - the gym.

http://pinkaliciousintentions.blogspot.com - out (drops microphone loudly on the floor, smiles seductively, and exits stage left) #TurnDownForWhat

Food Journal : Dieting : Day 7

Oscar nominations are out. Tiger Mom is all over TV. I am in bed with a cold.

The first week went well. I lost 2 lbs by counting calories and staying vegan-ish, mostly. 1100 was my daily goal but I ended up between 1100-1800 daily. Not bad. 

Then I got a cold AND had a weekend trip so I digressed. It's Tuesday today, day 2 of my restart or day 7 (since I took the weekend off). I stilll have a cold but the good news is I am still excited to do the food journal and count calories while trying to make sure it's nutrient dense. What gets me through is unlimited spearmint gum and Periier. :-)

I have no energy to get done what I need to get done but I guess that's dieting mode. I am isolating myself from being too social while dieting because that just messes up my focus (I tend to insert foot in mouth and that can be emotionally taxing too - lol). Am just focusing on the family and home tasks at hand (like nesting that a pregnant woman does - another time when on just has to focus on themselves).

141lbs = now. 125=goal I think. It depends on how the clothes fit. My goal is a size 4 and a ton of face filler in the naso-labial lines that are sure to make themselves seen when there is less fat on my face... and chemical peels... constant, consistent peels until that hot summer sun hits. Ugh.

I think I need to just take 1 meal off a week and not the entire weekend. One meal where I focus on extra protein or fruits or whatever I slacked on during the week and try hard not to do the chocolate I always want. Saturday nights.  

As soon as my cold feels better I plan on working out more. I did a few 20 lb dumbbell chest presses and push-ups and crunches and dancing/stretching with the lights off. All my favorite ways to work out and if I can't be drunk while dancing then in the dark is good enough. Motivated to do more when the cold is beaten and my perpetual headache is gone and the white cells have done their freaking job. OK - so off we go! Up, up and away! (Insert eye roll here.) :-)

What I eat changes every day and some days I am more vegan than others. I just try to keep it healthy, mostly veggies, and write down my calories... here is what I ate yesterday:

5am : black coffee with stevia : 0 calories

9am : whole wheat crackers with honey (ooops) : 200 calories

12pm: Salad with lettuce base and egg crumbles on top : 400 calories

3pm : Almond butter, coconut milk yogurt, organic chicken nuggets (oops) : 700 calories

7pm : Veggies, soup, and a tangerine : 250 calories

TOTAL: 1550 calories

The Official Start Week (take II) M-F

Monday: Inspired by an interview by Danielle Stein of Gary Taubes in the February edition of Town & Country magazine I have decided to throw all caution, anti-oxidants and intuition to the wind and do it Atkins style! Decided to start this 20lb loss with lo-carb Atkins the first week. Stocked up on eggs, spinach, almonds, a chocolate Atkins bar pack for the weak moment that is sure to happen, teas, and gum and we are a go! Will update Friday. The goal after that is to add back in other veggies, fruit, whole grain, lentil and count 1100-1600 daily. Am starting lo-carb to better deal with hunger and to get rid of extra salt/sugar/water weight and for water loss and added motivation. Adieu. :-) XO

Tuesday: You know what's really good when you're freezing in induction phase I in the winter on Atkins? A 12 oz mug with water, a bouillon cube, and an egg stirred in... egg drop soup (1-2 carbs and 100 calories). Yum! :-)

Fri : Stomach flu
Sat: Off Atkins and on the BRAT diet for sicky tummies (bananas, rice, applesauce, toast) - lost 3 lbs. Down 6 from last week total.
We will see what happens when I feel beter.

Atkins is effective at hunger control and a great thing to do to kick start a diet. I am a vegan at heart so it's mentally taxing and gross for me. So I am glad to have lasted a week and looked amazing today - the key to feeling better is to just straighten my hair, watch a Joan Rivers documentary and lose a few lbs apparently. We shall see what Tuesday brings. :-)