Prophylactic Bilateral Mastectomy with Reconstruction Healing - Week 5 after Surgery

5 days ago I went to see my physician who truly had very little to say about the pain and encouraged me to continue to massage and no heavy lifting but fly-free and push things slowly! 

So I figured I'm on my own here and determined that like a baby I will have to start anew! I quit all daytime pain meds and am using Tylenol at night as needed (sparingly) and am trying to find a way to phase out sleeping sitting upright.

I went back to a place I've loved since I was a child.  I went back to ballet. The long lean posture, and arms for stretching... the beauty of form and peace it brings to my mind. It does for me what yoga does for my friends.

Day 3 of driving a little more every day... I'm sleeping sitting up less often and just on my sides. 

I am at week 5 post-surgery... I hope things continue to get better. I Google things, in the car while parked, when the pain gets overwhelming and I still have a half day ahead of me and the stories online of the women who still feel these things in them and still feel the tightness years later and have formed internal scar tissue they can't break up - well I am working on that not being me and finding a way to help more women in the favorite of my charities I work with.

This surgery is a lot like having a dog so far, or a BMW, or hair extensions... it requires constant attention in the beginning and then lots of tweaking.  The feeling of it being there never leaves one's consciousness. It's very distracting.

I can't wait to post that this feels better but I am only at week five... the 6 week no lifting embargo is almost over. The 3 months go-back-to-the-gym-and-bench-press is yet to begin. The 6 month refining surgery is not soon. The 1 year mark of the light pink possible nipple tattoo I probably won't get isn't here. The 4% hydroquinone to bleach down scars hasn't begun. 

It's all too soon but I'm done blogging I think for now dear reader and I thank you for reading it.

I hope I helped some women who will go through this know what to expect. :)

Day 1: 1/7/2011 the anti-inflammation begins...

Am determined to chronicle this online. It gets to feel LIVE for me and no one's watching anyway, right? :-)
I grew up a non-drinking, vegetarian (that's hard as a carb-addict who can't stop eating after she has 7 bites of something). I married an omnivore so I tried some chicken and a few other things when I had some wine and felt daring. I have dabbled in Vegan for two years (supplemented by B12 and Calcium and some other things I can't remember).
Now I consider myself "Mostly Vegan". A clean eater with a smidge of dairy about once a week (mostly to remind myself what it tastes like and to come home and make an identical tasting thing vegan), and a smattering of egg or chicken about 2-3 times a week.





10am: the housekeeper is here today so along with my 5am black, Mount Hagen organic coffee with Stevia I have had a decaf green tea by Celestial Seasonings, an Aveda The Tea, and a black Nutcracker Ballet tea. I try my best to stay out of her way because frankly the more laundry she does, the less chemicals I have to come in contacts with and apparently I am high risk for everything so it would affect me more than her anyway (wait until I mention the full body hives I have been having four times a day that should be enough to send me back on my anti-inflammation diet... oy vey).



I am trying to make this a "down" day on the Alternative Day diet where I eat 500 calories one day and a healthy albeit unrestricted one on the next day.The eating will happen no doubt when the kiddies get home from school and homework becomes an issue - I swear I am a better and more patient and perfect mom every single day. It's so nice when they're not 5 anymore and you can talk to them like people. I am not good with secrets within my immediate family and having to hide most of the world from young minds because they're not ready to receive the information was annoying and difficult when they were younger. To be untruthful to the people I love the most felt uncouth, gauche, unreal... there should be no secrets within immediate family. Everything can be dealt with, we are all human. I want to keep that going so the teen years a-coming are not horrible (fingers crossed). But I digress again...

Stats: am battling my last 20 to take off. Am a whopping 143 (which at 5'4" isn't even clinically obese I think but I am determined not to be a size 10 anymore and not have to wear painful spanx or torturous girdles or three pair of control tummy Beyonce nylons (How perfect and numb to the pain of her heels does she look in her performances?) just so my hips don't stick out and I get a nice silhouette). I am determined to feel GORGEOUS and sexy again before I hit mid-life. I am determined to be able to throw on an outfit and and have it just look good. I am determined to  take all that energy and confidence and happiness that I am sure to feel and spread it around. I am determined to stay or get back to being an intellectual girl. I am determined to have an amazing, sexy photoshoot this year.

I am determined.

I am sure to have some steamed veggies and protein today and something sinister at lunch when the kids are around. What lurks around the corner for my tummy I will tell you the next time I log in.
Happy noshing! All my love and strength my loves. XOXX

UPDATE: 2 hrs later. The little one is home. Have had a salad sans dressing (ok a little Lemon Poppy dressing) and organic crackers with blue frosting. Yes there is still junk from the holidays kicking around the house and yes it will be destroyed, eaten, gotten rid of when my husband comes home and I beg him to throw out perfectly good, unopened cans of sweet gingerbread house decoration and other junk because I just can't and he, being the most perfect person in the world (yes I do blush when I talk about him and we've been married 15 yrs... eww too sickeningly sweet I know) who wants to help me, will. So there's that. Dinner will be better... veggies and protein.

Hmmmm, maybe this should just be a Twitter food journal so I don't have to log in every 3 hrs and cry into my food from a lack of followers a la Liz Lemon... hmmmm...

http://pinkaliciousintentions.blogspot.com - out (drops microphone loudly on the floor, smiles seductively, and exits stage left) #TurnDownForWhat