Prophylactic Bilateral Mastectomy with Reconstruction Healing - Week 5 after Surgery

5 days ago I went to see my physician who truly had very little to say about the pain and encouraged me to continue to massage and no heavy lifting but fly-free and push things slowly! 

So I figured I'm on my own here and determined that like a baby I will have to start anew! I quit all daytime pain meds and am using Tylenol at night as needed (sparingly) and am trying to find a way to phase out sleeping sitting upright.

I went back to a place I've loved since I was a child.  I went back to ballet. The long lean posture, and arms for stretching... the beauty of form and peace it brings to my mind. It does for me what yoga does for my friends.

Day 3 of driving a little more every day... I'm sleeping sitting up less often and just on my sides. 

I am at week 5 post-surgery... I hope things continue to get better. I Google things, in the car while parked, when the pain gets overwhelming and I still have a half day ahead of me and the stories online of the women who still feel these things in them and still feel the tightness years later and have formed internal scar tissue they can't break up - well I am working on that not being me and finding a way to help more women in the favorite of my charities I work with.

This surgery is a lot like having a dog so far, or a BMW, or hair extensions... it requires constant attention in the beginning and then lots of tweaking.  The feeling of it being there never leaves one's consciousness. It's very distracting.

I can't wait to post that this feels better but I am only at week five... the 6 week no lifting embargo is almost over. The 3 months go-back-to-the-gym-and-bench-press is yet to begin. The 6 month refining surgery is not soon. The 1 year mark of the light pink possible nipple tattoo I probably won't get isn't here. The 4% hydroquinone to bleach down scars hasn't begun. 

It's all too soon but I'm done blogging I think for now dear reader and I thank you for reading it.

I hope I helped some women who will go through this know what to expect. :)

ANGELINA JOLIE SURGERY: UPDATE ON BILATERAL PROPHYLACTIC MASTECTOMY W SILICON IMPLANTS NOT NIPPLE SPARING. ONE FORTNIGHT LATER

First I want you know to know I can't proof read my own stuff... I can't bear to look at myself on film (unless it's CGI'd so I look like Charlize Theron - hasn't happened yet), and I can't bear to listen to anything I've recorded on my CD's - no matter how freaking genius it is and how much disbelief I am in that I improved that right there that well from the heart. That's just not who I am. Mike Meyer's understands this about me. Go ask him. 

RECOVERY: It's been great. (Hahahahaha!) I'm still in pain. I still look like the Bride of Frankenstein that popped out of Tim Burton's head. Again, I love your wife Tim.

Here's the important part. I still think I'm funny like Lewis Black or Kathleen Madigan or "Find the Funny" Tammy Pescatelli (normally I'm more Kelly Osbourne when she grows up and realizes life is not what she thought life was... y'know... like Tori Spelling - entirely like-able people in real life I'm sure).

Not unlike Alec Baldwin and Elizabeth Banks (or as I like to call them Jack Donaghy and Avery Jessup), my husband has been gently, too gently for his usual personality which I pick up as pity - I HATE pity.... wait...

Side bar: My husband and I grew up in different parts of the country so we almost never read each other correctly and have to double check everything to make sure we understood each other correctly. That's not a vote for inbreeding people. I'm a sarcastic, creative, artsy type with prior success whose mind moves to parallel thoughts quickly and gets annoyed when you don't get my joke (like Robin Williams)... and my husband is nice and appropriate, solid and perfect - it's annoying sometimes... I have to hold all my inappropriate/funny/over-the-top-totally-normal-in-NY-but-gauche-here in my head when we are around people and it drives me crazy. 

See, I still think I'm funny. This has to stop or I'm going to have to drive out to LA and find an outlet for it... where do they keep my people the Indian Jews and other people here? NBC? Why do they keep cutting my scenes then? "Oh, we couldn't fit it in the time allotted." Wah-wah-whine-whine-wish I drank wine...

So Mr. BigAndPerfectMultiMillionaire has been suggesting for a few days that I've had a few weeks to recover and aside from Tylenol and not lifting over 5lbs I could probably get back to life.  Bye-bye night-time Valium, hello to my normal insomniac life is what he didn't know he was suggesting.

I FIND THIS INFURIATING - which is a good thing because it's the only emotion that fuels me into any action anymore.  So today, I am not taking anything for pain. I cancelled the housekeeper so I could try to do laundry (Oh yes I am.), then I'm going to pick up the kids with a mountain of red lipstick and a smile and Ralph Lauren on, and have a perfect meal with organic magic prepared for the children when they get home. Then, I'm going to ask them about their day and their homework.  

I will then spend two months donating 60% of our home contents for more "dead space" in it to fill with thoughts (and I have nice things). All this for planning a way to out-earn my Mr. Big. This is going to be fun. He thinks he is so perfect. Watch this...

PS: I'm going to try to watch "House of Cards" for the first time tonight as I fall asleep in the fetal position with liver damaging Tylenol as my only weapon. Let's see how that changes the writing tomorrow. 

Post Post Script: Jimmy Fallon on The Tonight Show needs more females and female comedienne's on his show or I honestly probably won't watch... and he has to fake flirt w them... and some of them have to be WOMEN (jaded and in a suit and NOT 6 inch heels) not just females... but I'm very happy for him and the first day was ahmazing (I developed a crush on Will Smith and Bono and that's saying something because I like to think I don't like anyone) ... I still would rather watch Kathleen Madigan host it... or Conan. Oh look, another white male on TV owning it. That's nice. :) Tee-hee, so happy for him. He seems so humble. :) Bless his heart.  

http://pinkaliciousintentions.blogspot.com - out (drops microphone loudly on the floor, smiles seductively, and exits stage left) #TurnDownForWhat